


Equivalency

by GoddessofBirth



Category: Firefly
Genre: Bonding, F/M, Humor, clueless!boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 06:12:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofBirth/pseuds/GoddessofBirth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne may know women, but Simon knows his sister.  It's time to exchange some advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equivalency

Simon heard the scrape of wood on concrete and looked over to see Jayne dropping his weight heavily onto the stool next to him. He gestured to the bartender and gave his order before nodding to Simon. That might have raised eyebrows a year ago, but Simon suspected that they were actually friends these days, although Jayne would probably never admit to it.

 

The bartender brought back two whiskey shots and Jayne slid one down to him. That would have been strange a year back as well, but time out in the Black changed everyone. He threw the burning liquid back in one gulp and then ordered two more. When they came, he passed the extra to Jayne and leaned his elbows on the bar, watching Kaylee through the mirror hanging suspended on the wall facing them.

 

She was playing a doubles game of pool with the other women of _Serenity_ , and he took a minute just to follow her movements, thinking what a lucky man he was to have somehow convinced her to love him back.

 

Jayne's voice interrupted his daydream. 'Yer gonna lose 'er, you know.'

 

Simon twisted to face Jayne in alarm. 'What are you talking about?'

 

Jayne shrugged. 'Jus' tellin' ya. Yer gonna lose 'er unless ya let 'er know how ya feel.'

 

'What are you talking about? I tell her how I feel every day. She knows I love her.'

 

Jayne hunkered down in the stool and wrapped his hands tightly around his beer mug. He furrowed his brow intently while staring Simon down. After a minute, he nodded. 'Look, Doc, let's be honest. You don't know shit all about women.'

 

He apparently took Simon's blank blinking as agreement and continued. 'Now me, I think it's fair ta say there ain't much about womenfolk I ain't discovered.

 

Simon opened his mouth to point out that sleeping with women and knowing them weren't exactly the same thing, but Jayne kept up his commentary. 'An' Kay 'n me, we're both from the Rim, so I know how 'er mind works more than most. Where we're from, words mean less than rotten protein _'_ less they're backed with action. Sure you told 'er you loved 'er, but you been sexin' – what? Over a year now? An' you still ain't put a ring on 'er finger, ain't introduced 'er to your parents – dumb fucks they may be – an' you ain't even asked 'er to bunk with ya. Now, sure as shittin' in her head, that all adds up to you not bein' serious 'bout this thing at all. An l'il Kaylee, she ain't gonna stay around just to be somebody's free ride.'

 

'But I want all those things!' Simon protested, for once ignoring the crudity of Jayne's words in lieu of the underlying meaning. 'I just don't want her to think I'm rushing her.'

 

Jayne had turned back to watching the women through the mirror but took a second to throw an incredulous look at Simon. 'Doc, that girl was lubed up for you over a year 'fore you finally got the balls to take 'er up on it. Pretty sure you ain't rushin' it. Time ta put yer credits where yer mouth is.

 

He squinted into the mirror, grinning as his eyes following River as she lined up a shot that took out half the solid balls left on the table. 'Anyway, I've said my piece. Take it or leave it. Yer choice.'

 

Simon leaned his elbows on the bar and watched Jayne watch River for a good solid minute before he spoke. 'Thank you, Jayne. I appreciate the advice. And I'd like to return the favor with some advice of my own. You're going to lose her if you don't use your words.'

 

'Ain't got no girl to worry 'bout losin' Doc,' Jayne replied automatically, his eyes tracking River as she went back to the table for her drink.

 

'And you won't, if you don't manage to tell my sister how you feel.'

 

It was comical, the speed at which Jayne jerked around to face Simon, looking like nothing so much as a fish, his mouth opening and closing several times as he cast around for the appropriate denial. Finally he regained his cool calm and slouched against the back of the stool, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

'Doc, yer sister's a Reader. Figure she's interested in anything goin' on in my head, she'll tell me.'

 

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling something about  _stubborn ape men_ before steepling his hands in front of him.

 

'Jayne, I may not know women, but I  _do_ know my sister. And she needs the auditory confirmation.'

 

At Jayne's puzzled look, Simon sighed and rolled his eyes. 'She needs you to say it out loud.'

 

'I jus' got through tellin' ya -'

 

'Do you have any idea how often people think one thing but mean another? I mean, how many times do you think about killing Mal? But you would never actually do it.'

 

'I wouldn't go makin' assumptions.'

 

Simon ignored him. 'So as far as she would know, your ideas about her aren't any more serious than that. And besides, you're twice her age. Do you really expect  _her_ to approach  _you_ . You've got far more experience than her. I don't think she's even been with any boys...well, other than that one on Boros.'

 

Jayne surged to his feet, his hands clenched in fists. 'What boy?' he gritted out.

 

Simon just smirked at him and after a second Jayne sat back down. 'Oh, hardy har har. Yer fuckin' hilarious.'

 

Simon took a minute to revel in satisfaction before continuing. 'She's not going to wait around forever. Sooner or later there  _will_ be a boy, and if you haven't made a move, someone else will.' He signaled the bartender for another drink before echoing Jayne's earlier words. 'Anyway, I've said my piece. Take it or leave it.'

 

Jayne looked between Simon and River's reflection for several long minutes before pushing to his feet. 'Think I'll take it.'

 

Simon was staring into his drink when, three seconds later, River gave a startled shriek as Jayne picked her up and carried her from the bar. Simon didn't have time to worry on that though, he was too busy trying to figure out how he could get an engagement ring on such short notice.


End file.
